Heft

I have decided to invent a new country. It hasn't got any geographical boundaries, except for the line that joins up all of the synaptic connections in my head.

Here is the flag.

I have spent many weeks in consultation with experts. Fuchsia is the background colour. You can't take fuchsia too seriously. The cyan cross symbolizes a lightweight vaguely Christian ambivalence and the banana represents a banana.

President Elect

   The people's choice. I have been chosen. There was no coercion, no ballot rigging and no under-the-table deals. All of that took place in my head and won't stand up in a court of law.

Citizens 2,3 and 4

 The voters (the people) can't all be wrong. I have spoken personally to the nation who endorsed me without reservation, via tail wagging and "more football please daddy!" This is social cohesion.

Environment minister

In charge of chasing foreign elements. The four corner stones of environment policy are:

1  Recycling food (through dogs)
2  Recycling plastic by injecting ugly people with it (bottocks etc.)
3  Recycling politicians and bankers by burying them deep in the ground until they become useful fertilizer
4  Taking up bike-riding once again and recycling

NATIONAL FLOWER
(a kind of butch pansy)

Organigram of Political Structure

Ministers of Defence And Education

Head of "National security and counter - espionage"

Economic Outlook (from bedroom window)

Freedom of Religiosity

Energy Minister

Youth Employment Minister

Minister of Food, Fisheries and Agriculture (and chocolate)

Minister of Transport

Minister without Portfolio (or Hand) 

Today's poem:

Error is boundless.
Nor hope nor doubt,
Though both be groundless,
Will average out.
— J.V. Cunningham, from “Meditation on Statistical Method”